What Plumbers Can Teach Change Leaders About Presence

Season 1, Episode 2

Every change leader has a moment they'd rather forget. Maybe it was a meeting that derailed, a comment that landed wrong, or a decision made from frustration instead of clarity. The work doesn't pause to let you recover. It just keeps moving, and so do you, whether you're ready or not.

There's a useful comparison hiding in an unexpected place: the plumber who shows up to fix your sink.

The Plumber Standard

Think about what separates a plumber you'd call again from one you'd never let back in your house. It's rarely about technical skill alone. It's about how they show up. Do they take care to protect your space before they start the work? Do they pay attention to the actual problem instead of assuming the worst-case fix? Do they tell you the truth, even when the truth is "this was a simple fix and I'm not charging you for it"?

Change leaders face the same test, just with higher stakes. The people you're leading, whether through housing initiatives, education reform, healthcare access, or any movement work, are bringing you real problems. They're watching how you show up the same way a homeowner watches a plumber walk through the door. Your presence either builds trust or erodes it, often before you've said a word.

The Line Between Above and Below

Here's the harder truth: none of us are consistently at our best. We all have a line, a threshold between operating with openness and curiosity versus defensiveness and blame. Above the line looks like accountability and clear thinking. Below the line looks like scapegoating, finger-pointing, and decisions made from fear rather than purpose.

The goal isn't to never dip below that line. That's not realistic for anyone doing demanding work. The goal is recognizing when you have, and having a plan to move back above it.

That recognition is harder than it sounds. Our instinct is to believe we're always operating with good intentions and clear judgment, even when our behavior says otherwise. Naming where you actually are, not where you wish you were, is the first real step toward changing it.

A Practical Tool: Name It, See It

One method that works in the moment is simple: when a conversation or group starts to derail, stop and ask directly, "Are we above the line or below the line right now?"

That question does something powerful. It interrupts the spiral without assigning blame. It gives a group permission to acknowledge collective fatigue, frustration, or fear without anyone having to be the villain. Once people can see where they actually are, they can choose to move toward where they want to be.

This is the practice behind two ideas worth holding onto: you name it to tame it, and you see it to believe it. Awareness comes first. Change follows.

Presence Is a Craft, Not a Personality Trait

A skilled plumber didn't start out skilled. They built that competence through repetition, attention, and a willingness to keep showing up even when the job was unglamorous. The same is true for leadership presence. It's not a fixed trait some people have and others don't. It's a craft, built through practice, reflection, and honest self-assessment.

That means giving yourself permission to prepare. To pause before reacting. To journal after a hard meeting and ask what you'd do differently. To recognize that showing up fully, again and again, is the actual work, not a soft skill layered on top of the real work.

What This Means for Your Next Move

If you're leading change in any capacity, the question isn't whether you'll have moments below the line. You will. The question is whether you have the awareness and the tools to notice it and the discipline to choose differently next time.

Start small. Before your next difficult conversation, ask yourself where you're showing up from. Above the line or below it. That single moment of honesty might be the most important fix you make all week.